Do We Need a Women’s Day?

International Women’s Day is around the corner and soon social media will be flooded with feel good messages worshiping womanhood, shopping sites will have Women’s Day special sales, few dutiful husbands will serve breakfast to their lady. Among all of these celebrations has it ever crossed your mind that do we really need a women’s day? With corporate jobs, financial independence and favorable laws, urban women already seem empowered. Then what’s the need of a special treatment and a special day?

Well, no decent person will ever deny that there are grave crimes and injustice happening against some women. But you might ask, do those oppressed women really benefit from the largely urban concept of the International Women’s Day and those who are celebrating, do they really need a special day?

Initially I felt the same way. I carried a naive belief that there were no biases in my world. After all I was blessed with a liberal family, like minded friends and amazing set of colleagues. So I believed I was immune to any gender discrimination. But as my age and career progressed, I and my female friends encountered issues which my male friends never had to worry about. That’s when I started noticing flaws in my naive belief.

A woman with great career seems empowered, but she may not feel the same way. She might be fighting many battles which are not visible to naked eyes.

As a society we have made great progress over the years. In 19th Century, women were forced to end their lives after the husband’s death. Now I can choose whether to get married or not. Compared to misfortunes of lot of women across the world, I definitely live a privileged life. But I dream for more.

In Mumbai locals where boarding in a compartment is in itself a victory, you are privileged if you get the ‘fourth seat’. Those who aren’t as fortunate as you, are standing, few are dangerously clinging outside the door with barely one foot in the compartment. All those people envy you for having the fourth seat. But in spite of being a privileged fourth seat passenger (on the seat meant for only 3 people), wouldn’t you dream for a commute where you don’t have to adjust on the fourth seat, where no one is breathing down on your neck and where you can have a few minutes of peace.

We urban, independent, corporate girls are those fourth seat passengers. In India, Forth seat travel is very common and widely accepted. But is that how it is supposed to be?

Gender biases are everywhere and they are so common that they don’t even seem like biases to many. A remarkable book by Caroline Perez — ‘Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men’ highlights numerous such biases. Every woman and man must read this book.

This book will show you the harsh reality of how gender biases are ingrained in our system. How the world suffers from the ‘male default thinking’ that considers ‘men’ as a default human and ‘women’ as a niche category. These Wikipedia pages illustrate the point clearly ‘FIFA World Cup’ Vs ‘FIFA Women’s World Cup’. Men don’t need to be mentioned explicitly because they are the default, women are niche.

Male default thinking is widespread. We read most things as male unless they are specifically marked as female. I found myself guilty of this offense. When asked to picture a scientist, a user, a participant, a designer and a researcher, I pictured only 2 female icons. How many female faces did you picture?

‘Male default thinking’ also influences setting up of standards. When I joined the investment industry, all my seniors were men. I learnt a great deal about research, investing and professionalism from them. And unconsciously I formed a belief that how my male seniors conducted themselves was the default way of being a good ‘professional’. I thought my feminine characteristics were atypical and needed to be controlled or at least concealed. I mostly dressed in plain button down shirts and dark trousers in an effort not to be the ‘odd woman out’. It took me years to accept and then embrace the diversity that I brought to the table.

Male biases are affecting our lives everywhere and until I read about them in Caroline Perez’s book, I wasn’t even aware that some of them were indeed biases.

Most of them are not intentional discrimination, just unconscious biases streaming from lack of thoughtfulness. Mass market products and services are designed for an ‘average person’ however with the ‘male default thinking’ an average person is usually perceived as an ‘average man’. And that results in a world that is built without consideration to the specific needs and circumstances of half of the population i.e. women.

This is because the world is still largely designed by men, for men using the statistical data of men.

For years I was mocked for pulling my driving seat too close to the steering wheel. Without succumbing to the peer pressure I continued driving my way. But still at the back of my mind, I always felt my seat positioning was abnormal. Mainly because it was different from how most men drove. While reading the book I had my Eureka moment that my seat positioning was not abnormal nor was it a fault of my short legs. It was a result of a ‘male default thinking’ which (a) missed to take into account women’s average height while designing a car and (b) considered men’s way of driving as the standard way.

Learning about the ‘male default biases’ in product designs gave significant boost to my confidence. I no more blamed my short height for my inability to place luggage in the overhead racks in trains, or my weak fingers for slowing me down while hitting hard keys on a keyboard, or my unclear speaking for Bixby’s failure in recognizing my commands. (I am also tempted to attribute my failed attempt at guitar lessons to faulty guitar design, but there is a tiny possibility that it could be because of my tone deafness.)

Unintended male biases are affecting our lives everywhere. There are podiums which are too high, room temperatures which are too low, desk heights and seat depths which are torture for our posture, in-ear headphones which are too big…the list is endless. These are trivial. We have learnt to work around them. They cause discomfort but no severe harm. But when police uniforms or scientists’ gears fail to account for female anatomy, they largely endanger the lives of women using them.

Caroline Perez strongly argues that when we are designing a world that is meant to work for everyone we need women in the room. Because what men think is fair and unbiased is still influenced by their hardwired ‘male default’ worldview.

The book shook my views on gender neutrality. I was a strong advocate of gender blindness, until I realized that ‘gender blind’ policies could still result in discrimination giving more benefit to men. Treating women like men will not level the playing field. Social and behavioral differences influence how women and men function. We need a new playing field which acknowledges these differences.

In initial years of career where technical knowledge is more important, hard-working girls and boys are likely to fare equally well. But as their career progresses, interpersonal and social skills take precedence over core knowledge and that’s when rules for girls and boys start to differ.

Many women underestimate their competencies and suffer from Imposter Syndrome at some point in their career. Many women fail to self-market themselves and rather wait for their work to speak for their capabilities. In a group discussion women hesitate to speak up and even when they do, they are likely to get cut off. In male dominated industries, networking gets harder especially when informal networks are developed over a beer or a sports game.

Many women are afraid to ask for a raise or a promotion. Even those who do ask for what they deserve, have sleepless nights contemplating if they should speak and how to speak without sounding too demanding, too ungrateful, too greedy and too unlikable.

The Heidi Howard study scares me. I fail to understand why success and likability are inversely related for women. I fail to understand why being ambitious is admired in men but looked down in women. What’s the difference between “too ambitious” and “(adequately) ambitious” anyway?

Women’s authority gets questioned just because world is not used to seeing women leaders. That is why a Super Specialist doctor is mistaken for a nurse or a co-portfolio manager is assumed to be an assistant portfolio manager.

We have to constantly fend off biases. We work harder to ensure no one can raise doubts over our competencies. We conceal emotions to ensure we are not labeled soft or difficult or a bitch. We become gender blind to ensure we are not accused of any favoritism. We constantly worry about our perceived image and try our best not to be seen as ‘woman’. (You see the male default thinking there?)

In short, being a woman at workplace is not easy. And that is why I have learnt to appreciate the International Women’s Day.

One day is not sufficient to move the needle. But it’s a good start. It is a good opportunity to celebrate achievements of successful women. It will inspire young girls and encourage them to dream bigger. It is also a good opportunity for everyone to introspect, acknowledge the biases and initiate a dialogue to overcome them. So I will say yes, we do need a Women’s Day.